The Facts of Life

I am completely fucked up. I don't even know why I try sometimes. I go to school, I don't pay attention, all my books got destroyed so I'm not doing too good in ANYTHING. I can't get a fucking job if it would save my life. People here only look to me for dumb shit like sex, they don't even know me!! I wanna just go to bed for a hundred tears like Rip Van Winkle, maybe things will be better for me then… i'm actually writing this in my history class, this proving how much school was NOT made for me. All I really wanna do rift now is sit around listening to music && playing the sims. Pathetic isn't it?? I hate this feeling, I really wanna get back to where I was befor, back when I looked forward to more than partying && shit. I used to like school, I used to have ambission, && this fuckin depression I'm slipping into does NOT sit well with me. I think I'm obsoletebing informatin from this class even thought I'm not paying attention, did anyone know that Japan is an archepelago?? && apparently they have young mountains, they're very unstable. Sounds like people, young=unstable. I wish I could make his go away, I mean I know how it started. Picture this, girl meets boy, girl likes boy, boy && girl date, they break up, months later they're friends. She tells him she loves him && it's the truth, it's just not the way he loves her. Eventually boy figures it out, he mentions it to girl, she says it's not true. The both know she's lying, thy both leave it at that because they both want it to be true. He wants it to be true because he's madly in love with her. She wants it to be true because she knows she's better off with him in her life. The only reason she holds on is because she wants it to be true, she wants it with evrything she has. Her entire entity wants it. But no matter how much she wants it, she needs to accept that it may never be true && she needs to cut him loose. But that's all for right now, u can't hande my whole mind at once. 
* this is a true story that should have never gotten this far.*